what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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