I'm pants shitting drunk right now
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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