Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
