forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize