Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
