Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
