Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
