When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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