I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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