i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
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