things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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