Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
