i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
