about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
