There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
What a dumb baby whore.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize