my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
