I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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