So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
