There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
