3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
