I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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