On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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