You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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