No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
