My brain says no but my pants say off.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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