If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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