heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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