Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
