he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Someone signed my nipple.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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