Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
