worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
