I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
