singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
