Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
