is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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