Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Randomize
