Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
