Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Randomize
