How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize