you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
