if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Randomize
