we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
