Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
My cat gives me a boner
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
