i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I have tasted many bathrooms
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
