you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
