home. puking in laundry basket.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
