Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
