Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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