I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
