so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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