If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
