They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
