life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
