Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I puked a lego.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
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