Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
