i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
