i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
