Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I would ride that face into the sunset
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
