Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
