i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
