that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
