The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
