oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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