Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
The feeling are messing with the penis
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize