what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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