Having a random hookup so left but love u
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
