I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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