how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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