im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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