The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
You ruined the universe
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize