and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
