My first STD was from a foam party
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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