Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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