So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
