He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
