He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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