I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
My pussy is not your playground.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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