You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
