Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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