he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
