Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize