redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
