My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
